Have you ever wonder what's in your dream? Lately I've been having dreams, about exams. Or nightmare I'd call it. 2 times in fact. I can still recalled it vividly.The first was, I dream that I was taking an exam. When I flip open my exam paper, I did not know how to do most of the questions in that paper. I panicked, and I keep thinking so hard on trying to answer the questions. But to no avail. At that moment, I thought that I really have no chance in getting into SMU already. When I woke up, I was totally relief that it was just a bad dream. But why do it seems so real?
The second one, I had it last night only, was during my preparation for my exam on the next day. I was studying with my classmates (yes I did studied with them during my exam period), and I actually did not manage to study finish all the chapters and I had to go for my exam already. It's damn scary how time flies when you are struggling to study finish everything. It's bad enough that I go into the exam hall unprepared, worst still I was late for my papers for half an hour.
I decided to google my dreams and this is what I had found.
"To dream that you are taking an exam, indicates that you are being put to the test or being scrutinized in some way.�Such dreams highlight your feelings of being anxious and agitated. You may find that you cannot answer any of the questions on the test or that the test is in some foreign language. Is time running out and you find that you can not complete the exam in the allowed time? Or are you late to the exam? Does your pencil keep breaking during the exam? Such factors contribute to you failing this test. These dreams usually have to do with your self-esteem and confidence or your lack of. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations of you. You may also experience the fear of not being accepted, not being prepared, or not being good enough. You feel nervous, insecure and tend to believe the worst about yourself.
These dreams also suggest that you may feel unprepared for a challenge. Rarely, are these dreams about the content of the test, but rather the process and how you are feeling during the exam taking process. Generally, you feel distressed and frustrated. These feelings may parallel how you are feeling in a particular challenge or situation in your waking like.
Dreams of this nature are also an indication that you are being judged and this dream is a signal for you to examine an aspect of yourself that you may have been neglecting and need to pay attention to. You may harbor some guilt because of your neglect in preparation for a school exam, meeting, business project, or some challenge. Most of the time, though, people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life. This dream goes back to their fear and own anxiety that they may not meet other's standards of them. They are afraid to let others down."
So now I know why. Though unlikely to fail a test in real life, but am afraid to let others down. Yes, my biggest fear is to let my parents down. Frustrated, yes I am, because I find it unfair why others have their exams spread over the weeks or at least they have 1 day break before the next paper. But all my 4 papers are back to back (Monday to Thursday). Why is that so? It's not as if my course is an easy one. To recall back, the 4 days of mugging are like a living hell.
Imagine my paper ends at 6pm, reached home 7pm and you have paper the next day. And after the paper, you are already so tired from studying for the past 2 days or at least the whole day that day. And then revising that whole night again before going for exam the next day. This has been going on continously for 4 days. It's tortorous, like what most of my classmates had said, some of them even prepared to stay back for year 4 I swear. Saying stuff like they don't mind sleeping with our 50 years old lecturer just to pass that paper. This is how desperate one can be when you are afraid of not studying finish, not understanding the module, or worst failing the test. That period, had taken a toll on my health.
Now, I'm glad that the exams are over but why are the dreams haunting me even til today? I haven't really have a peaceful sleep since then. I hope all these never-ending school related be it dreams or exams, will come to a stop. It's enough. I need a break, a getaway, badly.
