We get fined for almost everything.
Drivers won't 'give chance' when you want to 'change lane'.
The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot.
And the humid air, it wreaks my hair.
Those answering machines always make you hold,
only to hang up on you.
When a pregnant lady gets on the train,
everyone pretends to be asleep.
I'm stuck with my parents til I'm 35,
cause I can't apply for HDB.
We don't recycle any plastic bags,
but we purify our pee.
What's wrong with Singapore?
Losing always makes me feel so sore.
Cause if you're not the best,
then you are just one of the rest.
My, oh my Singapore.
What exactly are we voting for?
What's not expressively permitted
is prohibited.
When I'm hungry at the foodcourt, I see
people 'chope' seats with their tissue paper.
To the aunty staying upstairs,
your laundry is dripping on my bed sheets.
Please don't squat on the toilet seats,
and don't clip your nails on MRT.
Stray cats get into noisy affairs,
my neighbor makes weird animal sounds.
People put on fake accents to sound posh,
and queue up 3 hours for donuts.
Will I ever live til 85
to collect my CPF?
Singaporeans too Kiasu! - so scared to lose!
Singaporeans too Kiasi! - so scared to die!
Singaporeans too kiabor! -scared of their wives!
Maybe we're just too stressed out! - even the kids!
Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel.
Singaporean men can't take independent women.
People blow their nose into the swimming pool.
And fall asleep on my shoulder in the train.
Singapore's national bird is the crane.
The one with yellow steel girders.
Real estate agents' leaflets clogging up my mailbox.
- en bloc, en bloc, en bloc, en bloc.
Why can't we be buried when we die?
No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me.
Why do we need a permit to sing our complaints?
Singapore is not part of China!
I am not a SPG just because I date a foreigner.
Why are all the good looking guys are gay?
That's not a complaint.
Why do people show butt cracks with pimples.
We don't have 9 to 5 jobs,
we have 7 to 11 jobs.
Why everybody asks me when I get married?
Prices are increasing but my pay is not.
And my height is not increasing either.
I am gaining weight instead.
I was on the MRT going to NUS,
when an ex-bf sent me an SMS.
You see I told him BRB on our BGR.
Coz I couldn't wait forever on an LDR.
OMG! OMG! I know what I can do
I'm gonna find myself a new BF through SDU
A man with all the 5Cs to be my ATM,
and not a 4D buying boy stuck in Tekong Camp
Don't want 11B, you want my pink IC?
Someone from NUS, NTU, or ITE?
I like the PDA, you want more TLC?
I need a man ready to lose his bachelors degree.
When I was in NS doing my BMT,
I always "kena tekan" by my PS and PC.
And so I went to see the MO to get Attend C
but I came back and did "sai kang"
coz I got Attend B
KNNCCB! There's not much I can do.
You passed your A levels but still can't get into SMU?
Don't be a CEO stuck in the CBD.
Be PCK, Best in Singapore, Batam and JB.
You see my girlfriend she always got PMS.
She thinks we MCP, always "talk cock" about NS.
What's wrong with HDB, When will you ORD?
I need a girl who won't keep changing like the GST.
There are not enough public holidays.
My neighbor sings KTV all night.
Wedding dinner never starts on time.
My hair is always cut shorter than I want.
Channel 5 commercials are way too long.
Why do men turn bald?
At first it was to speak more mandarin,
then it was to speak proper English.
What's wrong with my powderful Singlish?
People sit down during rock concert,
we have to pay for tap water at restaurants.
ERP gantries are everywhere,
but I can still see traffic jams on the road.
Why bus stops have tilted benches?
I can't access playboy.com
An interesting song. And it's very true. HAHA!
